The Good Egg Blog Award – Part 1

The Good Egg Blog Award

 I am still fairly new at blogging, and continue to learn new things almost daily. So I felt so incredibly touched, and honoured when one of my favourite bloggers, IVFJess gave me the Good Egg Blogger Award two weeks ago.

Jess started this award after getting the “I love this blog award” and the “stylish blogger award”, as a way of passing along the love to some of the blogs she reads. The last two weeks have been super busy for me, but I finally have some downtime to reflect and fulfill my duties as an award recipient!

Here is how the award works:

  1. Thank and link back to the person who gave me this award. Thanks again IVFJess!
  2. Share 7 things about yourself
  3. Award other bloggers (you determine who and how many)
  4. Contact these blogs and tell them about the award

7 things about me:

Okay, this one is hard! I think I’ve had a pretty unremarkable life so far, so it’s hard to come up with interesting things to share. Infertility is probably the most interesting thing that has happened to me, but like Jess I want to keep this list free of IF related content.

1. I met my husband through an online dating website. In 2011, online dating is fairly common, but back in 2001 (wow, has it really been almost 10 years??) this was still a fairly risqué way to meet people, and most stories you heard of people meeting online ended with one of them being dismembered and scattered in a landfill. I first joined the online dating scene in 2000, after seeing an ad for a dating site appear on my yahoo email account home page one too many times (online advertising really does work!). It was a great time to be a female in the online dating world, as at the time, the ratio of men to women  on online dating sites was something like 3:1 (I suspect that it’s much closer to 50/50 today).

Also, the internet was still new enough that the men on the online dating websites were primarily the educated, intelligent men I wanted to meet (guys who knew their way around a computer for lack of a better screening tool), rather than the pretty boys with no substance I was meeting through the bar scene (my primary way of meeting new guys at the time). My husband wasn’t the first man I met online (that honour goes to a boyfriend who showed up to our first date with a SWORD in his backseat – I kid you not), but I was the first (and only) woman who responded to his ad. And the rest, as they say, is history.

2. I am a cat person. This sounds like a pretty boring thing to be included on my list of 7 things, however it is worth mentioning as I think being a true “cat person” is actually quite rare. While there are lots of “dog people” out there, many people who have cats are really “dog people” at heart (but cats suit their lifestyle better at this particular point in time), or are general animal lovers whose home may include a cat, a dog, and a whole menagerie of other animals at any given time. For me though, the choice is clear – cats all the way! I have never met a cat I didn’t like, but I can’t say the same thing about dogs.

Then there’s the dogs that are cute and friendly enough (so it’s not fair to say I don’t like them), but that I can’t imagine being around for any period of time (e.g. barkers, jumpers, shoe eaters). My favourite dogs are small, quiet, mellow (usually means old) dogs, which when you think about it  really means that the more cat-like a dog is, the more I’ll like it 🙂

From time to time, someone (read: dog lover) will ask me if I want to get a dog. Before we had our cat, I brushed this question aside, and assumed that when they said dog, it was shorthand for “pet”, so it was easy enough to answer by saying “We’re planning to get a cat.” But now, I find it kind of insulting, because I figure if I wanted a dog I would have gotten one already, and that it implies that my cat is somehow inferior. Plus I don’t know how to answer without insulting them and their choice of animal. I imagine it must be similar to when child-free (by choice) couples get asked by breeders (or wanna be breeders) why they don’t have/want children.

3. I walked myself down the aisle when I got married. My parents had just gotten divorced a few years before I got married, and there were still some weird family dynamics going on before my wedding. Also, my husband and I had been living across the country (5 hour plane ride) from our families, where we both had jobs and owned a house together. So being “given away” seemed like an unnecessary, quaint concept (really, what was there left to give at this point?).  However, I think it still caused some shockwaves. Our wedding guests gave us feedback on all other aspects of the wedding (the venue, the dress, the service, the format), but not one of our 150 guests said anything about me walking myself down the aisle.

4. I was in the delivery room with my mom when my little sister was born. My sister is 17 years younger than me, so I was pretty much an adult when she was born. She was actually due on my birthday, but came 3 days early, so we almost share a birthday. My dad was pretty squeamish about the whole birthing thing, so it was my mom’s good friend and me in the delivery room, until the final moments when only one of us could stay and my mom chose me! It was an amazing thing to witness, but to be honest I had an ulterior motive for wanting to be there: I had heard of babies being switched at birth, and wanted to make sure that this would not happen to my sister, so I paid close attention to what she looked like when she came out. In the end I needn’t have bothered. She weighed about 10 pounds, so when we went to see her in the nursery afterwards, there was just no way that she could have been switched – she was so much bigger than all of the other babies! When she got older, I eventually told her the story, and I still tell her that I’ve “got her back”.

5.  I think dessert is the best part of the meal. I don’t think I need to explain this one any further…

6. I hate gardening. It’s just housework outdoors. And the feeling of soil on my hands grosses me out. Thankfully my husband has a green thumb, and loves to get outside and tend the yard.

7. I’m an introverted extrovert. Or something like that. Technically I think I’m an extrovert as I am energized by my outside environment. I love being surrounded by people and activity, and don’t really understand the urge to “get away from it all”. But, I’m also shy and need time to recharge if I’ve been go, go, go all week. So when I do one of those quizzes that asks “Would you rather be at a party, or at home curled up with a book?”, my answer is “It depends. What sort of week have I had?”

Since this post has become my lengthiest one to date, and I imagine I’ve lost any readers by now,  I’m going to wait until my next post to pass along the good egg blog award. To be continued….

Musings on(Cat) Parenting

My cat let me down last night. I came home, gave him a rub, fed him, and then walked into the bedroom only to find that he’d left us a present (not in a good way). I took some satisfaction in seeing that  it was very clearly on my husband’s side of the bed (after all, he was the one out of town, not me), but I was still so disappointed that it had come to this.

How could my sweet, cuddly, tabby do this? My little guy wasn’t one of those sneaky, vindictive cats who slink around and glare at anyone who comes near. Cats like that are always plotting and scheming and looking to avenge any perceived slight. My guy didn’t believe in revenge – all he wanted was as much love as possible from everyone he came across.  We realized early on that if we were going to let him outside, he had to have tags that very clearly spelled out our address and phone number, otherwise he could easily be adopted by another family (or two).

Despite the title of this post, I am loathe to call myself a  “Cat Parent” or “Cat Mom”. The terminology kind of creeps me out and brings up all sorts of strange connotations (bestiality anyone?), not to mention that I think it sounds pathetic from someone who is trying hard to conceive (a baby, not a cat). However, that being said I do wonder sometimes if there are elements of the relationship that mimic the parent-child dynamic, and whether it hints at how my husband and I will approach parenting.

Our cat first left us a “present” about a month ago when we came back from a two week holiday (friends were coming by to feed him daily while we were away). Unfortunately we were only home for a short time before having to go away again for a few days, which resulted in more presents. This turn of events brought out the disciplinarian in my husband, who insisted that we kick the cat out of our bedroom. This was tough for me, as our cat had always slept at the foot of our bed, since the first day we got him.  The tough love lasted only a few days, at which point I felt sorry for him, and started letting him back in at night. My husband wasn’t too pleased with our good cop/bad cop role playing but agreed to let me try things my way until the next transgression.

Things were going really well, and I thought we had the problem beat, until this latest present. Standing there, looking at what had appeared on our bed, I had a sense of deja vu – of feeling let down because my trust had been betrayed. I realized that I had felt exactly the same way after my teenaged sister had admitted to me that she’d gotten drunk on my alcohol while visiting with us a few years ago. And I’m sure it’s the same way a parent feels when they find out their child is skipping school, taking drugs, or otherwise lying to them. I may not be a parent yet, but in some small way my furry dependant is preparing me for the real deal.