Emerging from the Gloom

After a rough start to my day yesterday, my evening delivered just what I needed to make me feel better.

I had a very well timed fertility yoga class right after work. Even though it was the fourth class in this particular session, as I’d missed the last two weeks it was only going to be my second class, but from the other times I’ve done the class I know how therapeutic it can be. In addition to gentle yoga poses, we do some meditation and visualization and at the start of class everyone goes around and shares how they are feeling this week. So I figured it was just want I needed.

Things did not start off on a great note however, as by the time I arrived, there were already four women in the room, split among two sets of two engaged in deep discussion. So I sat my mat down fairly close to one set and well…just sat there. Talk about feeling like some highschool reject ignored by the popular crowd (except feeling like you’re not in the in-crowd at fertility yoga is just that much more pathetic).

A sixth girl finally arrived, but it was just before the class started so I never had a chance to talk to her. We kicked the class off by checking in with everyone, and there was a lot of sharing about the various struggles everyone was having, and test results they had received. And the crazy thing is that one of the other girls was pretty much in the exact same position I am in! She had also been diagnosed with endometritis at her first endometrial biopsy, went on antibiotics and just got the results back this week that everything is clear, but like me it looks like she’ll have to re start her cycle. She even teared up a bit by the end of her story, which in a strange way made me feel validated that it was okay to feel so down about this.

When it came around to my turn, I shared my news of the delay, and the one year anniversary of our first positive pregnancy, and it felt so good to know that these people got it.

At the end of the class, there was another buzz of conversation, and one of the girls next to me turned to me  to introduce herself and say that at the last class (which I had missed)  they had all exchanged emails and had made plans to go for tea after class. Another girl quickly came over to get my email address to put me on the list for future post yoga plans.

Four of us ended up going for tea, and it was great! Everyone’s at different stages, but there was still lots of common ground and a sense of shared experiences. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.


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