I went for a teeth cleaning this morning, and lo-and-behold my dental hygienist was pregnant. And when I say pregnant, I don’t mean that “is she, or isn’t she?” stage when you’re just starting to show, but the full-on, basketball-up-your-shirt, almost-ready pregnant.
When somebody is that large, I feel like socially there is the expectation that it should be acknowledged by (at a minimum) asking “When are you due?”, and probably following up with pleasantries like “Do you know the sex yet?” and “Is your nursery ready?”. But right now, I just can’t do it. I know their pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with me, and that if I were the one pregnant, I would be bursting to talk about it any chance I got. I know I should put my feelings aside, but at this stage of the trying to conceive journey, I am just not mature enough to make pregnancy related small talk, and risk that it will lead to an extended conversation about pregnancy and kids.
Now, at least this particular situation was a little easier because when you’re having your teeth cleaned, most conversation on your end consists of nodding and shaking your head. That said, she still managed to ask me if I had any exciting plans for the spring (when all that’s on my mind these days is thinking about where I’ll be in the IVF/potential early pregnancy process at any given time). Of course, regardless of whether she was pregnant or not, I would not have answered “My exciting plans for the spring all revolve around doing IVF”, but the fact that she was pregnant just made it so much harder to answer that I had no exciting plans coming up.
I was actually dreading that she would ask me if I was pregnant, as I know sometimes they want to know this at the dentist’s. Thankfully she didn’t, though I did get the “You don’t have kids, right? So I guess you’re not just coming back from March break.” Yes, thanks for reminding me 🙂
This encounter today comes fast on the heels of last Friday, when I got to spend some time with an acquaintance who was pregnant and 3 days overdue. I went to a concert a few hours away with my husband and a couple that we’re close friends with. The concert was in the evening, and midday, my friend emailed about dinner plans before the concert and said that this acquaintance (who lives close to where the concert was) and her husband were going to be joining us for dinner.
Once again, this pregnancy has nothing to do with me, but as soon as I saw the email, I was pissed off that my evening was going to be ruined by what would surely turn out to be an hour of sitting around talking about the pending baby, and that I had no reasonable way out of it. I would like to stress again, that when someone is in the final stages of pregnancy (especially when they’re overdue!), I expect the conversation to revolve around that. I just don’t want to have any part of it, as it just reminds me of how far away I still am from experiencing that kind of joy.
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